Thursday, May 31, 2012

WSOP 2012 Underway

The annual circus that is the World Series of Poker has started up again and those who are interested can follow the action at http://www.wsop.com/2012/ . Over sixty events will make up this years WSOP, and two bracelets have already been awarded.

As always the first event is a No Limit Hold 'Em tournament restricted to Casino employees. This years winner is Chip Saechao, a blackjack dealer from Vasalia, California.

The other bracelet has gone to Brent Hanks, a 29 year old Vegas pro, who took down the $1,500 buy-in NLHE event and earned himself $517,725. Not bad for a former fifth grade school teacher.

Event #3 is a heads-up tournament - players compete one-on-one, with the victor advancing to the next round. The game itself switches back and forth between No Limit Hold 'Em and Pot Limit Omaha. Over 300 players began this tournament and only eight remain to duke it out. What makes it interesting is that one of those eight is 23 year old poker phenom Annette Obrestad, the youngest person to win a World Series of Poker Europe bracelet who is looking for her first victory in the WSOP proper.

This year the $10,000 buy-in Main Event may actually not be the event that gets the most attention as on July 1 a three day tournament will begin with a buy-in of $1,000,000. The Big One for One Drop cost a cool million bucks just to enter - with $111,111 of each entry going to the One Drop charity to help develop water management in Africa. Who would pay a million just to enter a poker tournament? According to Poker News, over thirty seats are filled.


In Praise of Dealers

Poker is a business. In Alberta, where I live, legal poker is played in card rooms attached to casinos which operate under the watchful eye of the Alberta Gaming and Liquor Commission. I don't know the percentages, but my understanding is that a certain percentage goes to charities - so don't imagine that these places are making the same profits that the places in Vegas make. Poker, unlike slot machines, requires a fairly high level of staffing. Dealers, floor managers, cashiers, waitresses, and cleaning staff all have to be paid. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to try to schedule staff for a poker room. I have walked into a card room at 10:00 am and found two full tables playing with two or three other guys waiting to get in the game. I have walked into this same room at the same time one week later and found nobody at all. How can you schedule staff for a business like this?

Dealing poker must be a very tough way to make a living. You would have to work weird hours as most rooms are (I am guessing) busiest between 8:00 pm and midnight. You would have to have an absolutely amazing short term memory and math skills. The rake is calculated based on the size of the pot so dealers must have a piece of their brain constantly adding up individual bets to know the pot size. Another part of their brain has to remember which players need to have change returned to them. For example in $1/$2 NLHE, the most common game in my part of the world, players are issued stacks of red $5 chips but bets can be any size, so several players can call a $12 bet with three red chips and the dealer has to constantly be making change - in this case giving back three white $1 chips. The dealer also has to keep track of the button - not as easy as it sounds when lots of players "help" the dealer by moving the button themselves.

Most difficult of all, I think, is when a player losses all his chips and rebuys at the table. When this happens a runner comes over to the table and collects money from the player, tells the dealer the amount, and goes to fetch the chips. Even though the player doesn't have chips yet, he or she is still able to play in the next hand. It sometimes can take a minute or two for the chip to arrive and until they do the dealer has to remember the all the bets the player has made and take the total into the pot when his chips come.

They have to deal with multi-way pots - keeping everything straight when there are side pots on top of the main pot.

A dealer has to do all of these things at top speed - the poker room makes its living on the rake, so they want as many hands as possible to be dealt.

On top of everything else a dealer has to be polite to the customers, even though quite a few are just plain assholes, border-line racists and sexist pigs. Fun!

I have no idea how tough their job is. I have only listed a few of the things that I have observed, but I imagine that they are are under a whole lot of other stresses I don't know about. Working in a high stress environment, being surrounded by gambling and booze must tempt quite a few of them to enter into a very destructive lifestyle. A year or so back a dealer at my favourite casino died of a drug overdose.

Be kind to your dealer.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Call Me Fishboy

I wasn't planning on playing poker today but at around 11 am I had run my errands, got my hair cut and was heading home when the Talking Heads song Take Me to the River came on. I took it as a sign, gave in to the impulse and dropped in at my favourite casino and bought in for $260.

It was a very aggressive table with lots of pre-flop raises and re-raises. On my fifth hand I was dealt pocket tens under the gun, raised it to $15 and found myself re-raised to $45. I called, which was probably a mistake. This seems to be a "fold or re-raise" situation, but I lacked the discipline to the former and the balls to do the latter. No surprise then when a ace came on the flop and I kissed my $45 goodbye.

Weak.

I lasted only another three hands. I was dealt Kd 10h, not a particularly good hand, but with three guys limping ahead of me I figured it was worth a $2 bet. The player on my left, a black guy who had just won a big pot with a bluff (he showed), also calls. To BG's left sits an action kid, who I've seen try to buy a few pots already. Action Kid raises to $15 and it folds back to me. I call and BG calls. The flop comes Ks Kc 4d, nice!

I check. BG checks.  Action Kid bets $35. I hollywooded for about for about eight seconds and call. BG calls as well.

The turn is a 3h. I bet $40,  hoping for a caller and BG goes all in. The Action Kid folds and I have a decision to make. I have no idea what to do. BG could be bluffing. He could have a king with a worse kicker than mine. He could have a king with a better kicker than mine. He could have a pocket pair, in which case I'm ahead of AA, QQ, JJ, 10 10, 99, 88, 77, 66, 55, and 22. I'm behind 44 and 33. Shit. My gut says fold - so what if I'm folding best hand? I can wait to win when I know I'm ahead rather than take a chance here.

But I don't fold. I call.

BG flips over AK. Oh crap. The river doesn't help me and I'm busted after less than thirty minutes at the table.

Where did I go wrong? I made so many mistakes it's hard to count them all:

My first mistake was playing in the first place. By giving into the whim to play, I was already showing a lack of discipline. If I can't control my impulses I am at a disadvantage before the cards are dealt.

My second mistake was buying in for $260 rather than the $200 I'd had success with lately. Again, a lack of discipline.

Now we come to the mistakes I made in the hand itself. The $2 call pre-flop was fine, but calling the $15 bet was stupid. K 10 off is a drawing hand and at an aggressive table like this you will not get pot odds to chase with drawing hands. What was I hoping would flop? I should never have been in this hand in the first place.

My next mistake was focusing too much on Action Kid and not thinking about BG enough.

The great big mistake, of course, was calling BG's all in. These are the possible hands he could have had that I would beat:  AA, QQ, JJ - that's it.  I don't think a good player would make this all in against two guys with 10 10 or lower, and a good player would not have called that $15 with a king with a worse kicker than mine. There is a possibility he is bluffing again, but I think it is less likely a guy will bluff so soon after showing a bluff. I was hoping he was bluffing - engaging in wishful thinking. Much more likely he had 44 and had flopped a full house.

I played badly and got what I deserved. However I did not compound my mistakes by re-buying. I stood up, wished everyone a good day and went home to write a blog post and walk the dogs.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

A Cautionary Tale of Woe


The story you are about to read is true. It just reads like bad fiction. The name (Stephen Green) has been changed to protect the innocent and to cover for my bad memory.

I had been at the poker room for over and hour and was yet to win a hand. I was playing my usual tight game but the table was very aggressive and it was costing me to see the flop when I got decent cards. I could not hit a flop to save my life and was considering just cashing out. I didn't seem like it was going to be my day. I could go home and write a nice little blog about why  it is wise to cash out when things are not clicking.

Then Fish Boy sat down at the table with about $250 in chips. Fish Boy was kid in a crisp white dress shirt - a good looking kid with a model's complexion and perfectly gelled hair. While he didn't give off a nervous vibe he seemed unsure of how the mechanics of the game worked- I suspected he had success on-line and had come to test his skills in the real world. He posted right away and called a $20 pre-flop bet. He was heads up to see the flop and checked after the flop. His opponent bet $40 and Fish Boy called. Fish Boy checked after the turn. His opponent bet $65 and Fish Boy called. The pot was now around $250, which was pretty big even for this loose table. The river came and Fish Boy checked. His opponent bet $125, which was all Fish Boy had left in front of him. Fish Boy didn't even hesitate before calling. The board was something like Kd 4c 2h Qh 8s. Fish Boy's opponent turned his hand over-Ah 8h - just a pair of eights- a very weak hand. Obviously he was trying to bluff Fish Boy, but just as obviously Fish Boy has, at minimum, a King, otherwise he would not have called down the line. Right? Amazingly, Fish Boy looks crushed at the pair of eights his opponent has and says "nice hand" and mucks his cards.

Oh. My. God.

Fish Boy pulls out his wallet and fishes out two crisp $100 bills. Any thought I had of leaving this table has disappeared.

The dealer calls out,"Chips on table one, seat three!"

Fish Boy doesn't even seem aware of how incredibly badly he played that hand. He just smiles and says "That sure went fast" as a runner takes his money and goes to get him more chips. This second buy in lasts him about twenty minutes. He busts out again when he flops two pair but doesn't bet it aggressively, giving his opponent pot odds to chase a flush draw that he hits on the river. Only when the flush draw hits does Fish Boy bet, and when he is re-raised Fish Boy calls with second best hand. Classic fish poker.

"I need to go to an ATM. I'll be right back." says Fish Boy. The moment he is out of earshot the table erupts in a discussion of how bad he is. Fifteen minutes later he is back, with only about $120 in chips. before he even sits down he dials a number on his cell phone.

"Hello, my name is Stephen Green, I was in earlier talking to Darlene about my overdraft. If she could call me at 403-249-......."

Seriously? Are we on candid camera? Part of me wants to pull this kid aside and try to convince him that he should leave, but I know I probably couldn't make him see that he has no hope of winning.

It was then that I was dealt Ah 10d. I raised to $15 and was called by Dan,  a tough, aggressive player. Fish Boy also called. The thee of us see the flop: Ac 5h 4s. I bet $35 and both Dan and Fish Boy call me. I figure I am probably ahead of Dan, who I put on a draw of some kind or possibly a weaker ace than mine - he has shown a willingness to call with a very large range. Fish Boy could have any two cards.

The turn makes the board look like this: Ac 5h 4s 9h.  I bet $20 and Dan re-raises me to $40. FishBoy calls of course. What to do, what to do? I have seen Dan bluff and semi-bluff a lot and I feel he his semi-bluffing here.  He seemed pleased with the heart on the turn, which probably means pocket hearts. I only have $110 left, so an all-in push by me might get him off his draw. But then there is is Fish Boy, who could be way ahead of me or way behind me. In the end I decide that the all-in makes the most sense, so I shove all my chips in. Dan starts to mull his decision over when he notices that Fish Boy is getting ready to push his chips forward too - giving him better pot odds. So Dan calls and Fish Boy puts the last of his chips in. I really should be mad at Fish Boy - I would have been happy to have Dan fold rather than risk a heart on the river, but Fish Boy influenced Dan's decision. While I'm not mad, I definitely don't feel sorry for the Fish Boy anymore - he deserves what he gets.

The river is a blank. I show my hand and Dan throws is cards in the muck. Fish Boy says something like "Darn it" and shows that he has pocket kings. Busted again, he leaves for good.

Calling with nothing; giving your opponents the chance to suck out on you; not being able to fold a pocket pair when there is an over card on board and people are betting heavy - these are the things losing players do. Even winning players do them from time to time when they go on tilt.

Don't be a Fish Boy or Fish Girl!

Monday, May 14, 2012

Give a Little Bit

I heard on the news this morning that the Alberta Institute for Wildlife Conservation is on the brink of closing up. This organization has been important to my wife and I in recent years as many of our close friends have volunteered for this group which helps to rehabilitate injured wildlife. We will send a cheque to AIWC in the hopes that they can continue to do their good work.

I do believe that to be a successful poker player you need to have balance in your life. The ruthlessness you need to succeed  while playing should be balanced by generosity away from the table. Here then is a great opportunity to be generous and put a deposit in your own karma bank account - you may need to draw on that account when you are all in on a stone cold bluff next week.

To donate:
phone 403-946-2361
mail:  Box 68
         Madden, AB
         Canada
         T0M 1L0
website: www.aiwc.ca

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Sunday Morning Prayer Meeting: Final Sermon

Why do I come to this church of chips and check raises? What sins do I think will be forgiven here?

At first - years ago - I came here looking for forgiveness for what I considered my greatest sin; my own ordinariness. I wanted to show myself to be lady luck's favourite, just as when I was a child I had delusions that I would change the world someday. The god-complex I had as a kid never really died - it just went underground and resurfaced as the delusion that the laws of chance applied to others, not me. I could have become addicted to slot machines or roulette but my pride was to great for games of pure chance - I wanted to be able to claim some credit for my own outrageous success. Poker, a mix of luck and skill, was the perfect game for me. I could pretend I deserved to win because of my skill, while secretly I knew it was because God loves me best.

So, in the beginning I played poker as if it was roulette - never considering what the moves my opponents made  revealed about the my chances of winning a hand. I never considered that I actually needed to study the game. I passed all my classes without studying, so why study poker? Worst of all, I never considered my opponents as thinking beings at all. This is particularly easy to do when playing on-line - easy to believe that avatar is just an avatar, and not a human being.

So I lost.

I was too stubborn to quit playing poker, but not so stubborn as to realize I had to start playing differently. I had to start trying to figure out why my opponents made the moves they made. This is what I am trying to do now.

Is this a church at all? I'm not sure. The belief in a higher power -be it God or Chance- drives people here. If they win they feel loved by the higher power. But how big a win -how much love- is enough? For some of us there is never enough love of money to fill the holes in our hearts. No matter how much we win we spend it all in the hope for more.

So.

In the end, poker is just a game. When you project meaning on it beyond that you are setting up psychological traps for yourself. One psychological trap, maybe the hardest on to avoid, is the idea that you can play winning poker even when you are not at the top of your game. You can't play winning poker when you are tired, or drunk, or on tilt, or when an opponent has a read on you. You can win (anyone can get lucky) but you can't play winning poker and there is a big difference. Which just brings my mind back full circle. This maybe this is a church after all, teaching us that pride goes before a fall. But don't come to this church to be absolved of sin - come here to learn something about yourself.

I had been at the poker table for about five hours. I had brought $200 and now had slightly more than $800. The thought crossed my mind that if I left now, I could go home and give the dogs a walk around the park before I'd have to go pick up my wife from work. We could spend some of my winnings on a nice meal somewhere. Or I could stay here. After all I was dominating the table; who knows how much more I would make? How much love is enough? 

The small voice in my head said it was time to go. I racked up my chips and cashed out. It was the best move I made all day.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Sunday Morning Prayer Meeting: Part 4

The poker room was absolutely hopping now. Beside our full table, two other tables are also full. I glance over at the computer screen near the cashiers cage and see that there are three people on the waiting list. Weird. An hour earlier three dealers were just sitting around waiting for customers.

Immediately after her boneheaded move and subsequent tantrum, The Iron Lady left the table, but she didn't take her chips with her. Of course players do this all the time - to go to the washroom, to have a smoke, whatever. After an explosion, like the Iron Lady's, a player will often just go take a walk around the block to clear their head and cool down. If a player is leaving for more than a few minutes, it is courteous to inform the dealer or house boss. Typically they will let you hold your seat for up to 45 minutes, which gives you time to go get a bite to eat, but you have to let them know that's what you are doing, otherwise after twenty minutes or so the house boss can make your seat available to someone on the waiting list and you can pick your remaining money at the cashier's window when you get back. Needless to say, The Iron Lady was not getting any favours after her outburst and so after twenty minutes her chips were cleared away. I imagined her blowing her stack completely when she came back, but the house boss clearly had had enough of her behavior.

In the meantime something weird began to happen, Too Much Cologne Boy had been playing a high percentage of hands and calling down to the river more often than not - a recipe for disaster. But he started to get incredibly lucky, calling down with an inside straight and hitting it on the river. Calling with terrible pot odds and sucking out again and again. His main victim was Don't Mess With Me, who lost about $400 to TMCB in two consecutive bad beats. This kind of thing happens. Partially it's just the law of averages that a poor percentage plays will hit now and again, sometimes in clusters. But "beginner's luck" is aided by the fact that normally smart players enter hands they normally wouldn't in the hopes of fleecing the sheep. The play looser than they should, and sometimes the sheep fleeces them.

The Colour Commentator shook his head sadly. "I hate playing against people who don't know how to play"  he said. I have heard a lot of poker players say this and, if you think about it for more than five seconds, I'm sure you'll agree it is a dumb thing to say. I personally wish I only ever played against people who don't know how to play. Nevertheless for appearance sake I had to nod in agreement.

"Yeah," I replied "Don't even think about bluffing at this table!"

My strategy when things go all wild west like this is to go from very-tight to super-duper-tight. Only play premium hands and let the guy who can't fold pay you off. Everyone else at the table, with the exception of the Unibrower, took the opposite strategy and loosened up their games in order to try and take down one of the big pots that seemed to build every hand. While Unibrower and I were silently competing to see who could fold the most pre-flop, mountains of chips were shifting back and forth.

I finally got a hand I could play, pocket jacks, when I was in the small blind. It had limped to Don't Mess With Me who had bet $35 so I raised him to $70. It was the first bet I had made in about an hour and it sent everyone running to the hills in fear. Everyone but DMWM, who called. When rags came on the flop I checked, expecting a bet from DMWM and he obliged, betting $50. I really liked the way he bet - he announced the "Fifty!" in a deep firm tone and pushed his chips forward with a quick, almost emphatic movement. Usually acting strong like this is a sure sign of weakness and I felt there was something fishy about his little performance. Why be so sure to act strong when the action is checked to you? Because you are not very strong. So I raised him to $100. Boy that sure made him think and the longer he thought the more certain I was that I was ahead. After a while he said, "I have an over-pair" and the second he said that I knew he had a lower pocket pair than mine because if he had qq, kk or aa he would have called by now. After thinking for a couple minutes more he folded, showing me his pocket 10's. I congratulated him on a good fold and showed him my jacks.

My stack was just over $700 now.

Maybe half an hour later I was in the small blind again, this time with  AQo. Somebody bet $15 and The Unibrower, on the button, raised it to $35. I considered just getting out of the way, but AQ is hard to fold, even for a nit like me, so I called. Everyone else could not fold fast enough with the two tight boys putting their chips in. The flop was 2h 6c 9d - rags. I checked. The Unibrower bet $55 and I quickly re-raised to $160.

I am pretty sure that Unibrower is going to lay his hand down. After all, I am the guy who said it was stupid to even think about bluffing at this table. The Unibrower is, I think, a really good player and a really good player would probably put me on a set here. A really good player would have enough discipline to lay down an over pair. I just hope he is that good.

"Did you have a set of fives or a set of nines?" he asks, looking at my face for any signs. About five hours later I realize a good answer would have been, "Does it matter?", but at the time all I could think to do was to try and stare a hole through the felt. Finally he folds, throwing his pocket jacket face up in the muck. This was a good fold really, there was no way I would have made a check-raise like that if I didn't have a set or, at the very least, AA or KK. I would not have made such a bet with anything but a hand that beats JJ....Or a stone cold bluff and a really good player like The Unibrower never just hopes his opponent has chosen this moment to make his first bluff.

It was probably mean of me but I showed The Unibrower my hand, hoping it might either put him on tilt or persuade him to transfer to a different table. Unlike The Colour Commentator, I'd prefer another player who doesn't know how to play at my table.

And maybe the next time I have a monster hand I might get called by someone who remembers this bluff.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Sunday Morning Prayer Meeting: Part 3

It's now well past noon and suddenly people start coming into the poker room. Shouty Black Guy has left, but  his seat is quickly filled by a balding thin middle-aged guy with an abundance of nervous energy - he looks like Billy Collins after fifteen cups of coffee. The table soon fills up:

Seat 1: Mr. Twitchy
Seat 2: The Iron Lady
Seat 3: Don't Mess With Me (Very big, bald, goatee-d,..biker gang type)
Seat 4: Crazy Chinese Gambler
Seat 5: The Unibrower (A young guy who seems very comfortable at a poker table)
Seat 6: Me
Seat 7: The Colour Commentator (new to the table, he will keep a running analysis going on each hand.)
Seat 8: Too Much Cologne Boy (Please, please, please let me get into a hand with him!)
Seat 9: Giggles (a very young Asian who quickly strikes up a bromance with TMCB)

Isn't poker great? Where else can you sit down with a group like this? Some of these people are very serious poker players, some are life long gamblers, one barely knows what he's doing. Some are friendly others grouchy. What could possibly be more fun than sitting down against a table full of characters like this and try to take their money while they try to yours?

Once the new configuration was established we settled in, then one of the weirdest hands I have ever witnessed took place. To make it easier to follow for you (and it was very confusing!) I will let you see everyone's hole cards - just like the do on TV!

The Unibrower, under the gun, limped in with 5c 4c.
I folded something crappy.
The Colour Commentator called with 6d 4s
TCMB and Giggles both call with mystery cards.
Mr. Twitchy folds.
The Iron Lady calls with Jc 10c
Don't Mess With Me calls with 9c 9h

Seven players are in. The flop comes: 6c 4d 3c. Fireworks!

The Unibrower is the first to act. With 5c 4c hole cards he has an incredible hand - a flush draw, an open ended straight draw, two outs to a straight flush...even though he currently has only middle pair, it is actually more probable than not that he is going to hit a monster here. As an experienced player, he knows how strong he is too. He bets $15 hoping to build the pot.

Next to act is The Commentator, who with 6d 4s has hit the top two pair. He figures (correctly) that he probably has the best hand at this point, but is afraid of the straight and flush draws so he raises to $40 hoping to scare the others away.

TMCB and Giggles fold.

The Iron Lady, with Jc 10c, has a fairly strong flush draw. She decides to call the $40 (probably a bad idea, given the pot odds and the number of players still in the hand) and then she does one of the dumbest things I have ever seen - she shows her cards to the player on her left, Don't Mess With Me, who is still in the hand! Showing your cards to a player still in the hand is a supreme no-no. Doing so, in any card room in the world,  will result in your own hand being declared dead. As you might expect, the table erupts in angry yelling. Several players are yelling that the Iron Lady's hand must be declared dead, The Iron Lady, just as angry, says she didn't know the rule and therefore she must be allowed to play her hand. The pit boss comes over and settles everyone down, hears what happened, and declares her hand dead. She is very angry and tries to pull the $40 she bet back into her stack, which causes the table to erupt again. Another five minutes of shouting and arguing ensue before the Iron Lady is made to understand her $40 is non-refundable. Totally unreal.

Don't Mess With Me didn't catch a piece of the flop with his pocket nines. He has an over-pair, normally a strong hand, and the extra $40 of dead money has sweetened the pot nicely. Oh, what the heck, he calls.

The pot is now about $150 when the action is back on The Unibrower, who with his massively strong drawing hand must be just delighted with the way things have gone. He has about $250 left in front of him and he pushed all of it into the middle.

This puts The Commentator in a tough spot. If I were him  I would fold two pair here, but he somehow senses he is the strongest hand right now - and he is right. He calls with his remaining $150.

With only an overpair, Don't Mess With Me has to know he is behind, and calling herewith his remaining $200 would be a very bad move. He makes a very bad move and calls.

The players now all in, flip their cards face up.

The turn brings the queen of clubs. The Unibrower is now ahead with a club flush. The river comes - eight....of clubs. There are now four clubs on the board, so the nine of clubs Don't Mess With Me has gives him a stronger flush than The Unibrower. An unreal bad beat.

Don't Mess With Me, who played the hand like an idiot, wins the $600 main pot and The Unibrower, who played like a pro, gets the $100 side pot - a net loss of $200 for him.

The Colour Commentator losses all his money, re-buys for $300, and spends the next twenty minutes explaining how he made the right call and should have won.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Sunday Morning Prayer Meeting, Part 2

Take me to the river
And wash me down
Won't you cleanse my soul
Put my feet on the ground - Al Green

I know I have a problem with the shakes. For the first fifteen or twenty minutes after I sit down at a poker table,I have difficulty controlling my excitement and my hands tremble noticeably. After taking down my first big pot yesterday, I decided to not play a hand until my nerves had settled. I know from experience that once I get under control the shakes usually don't come back.

So it was fold, fold, fold, for about twenty minutes during which time Sharky Kid, on tilt after his bad beat to me, lost the remainder of his chips and left muttering angrily. The Vietnam Vet also went home, which just five of us. Things started getting a little weird. Playing with fewer players usually means that everything loosens up - an uncomfortable situation for a nit like me. The other four really just wanted to gamble and the Crazy Chinese Gambler was the most action hungry of the lot, making blind raises and suggesting we all switch to$2/$5 limits. When I declined, he then proposed that everybody put $100 into the pot blind pre-flop. Out of the five of us, I was the only one who didn't agree to this idea - I don't come to a casino to gamble, for crying out loud! Still, I was aware that I was spoiling the party for the others. When CCG suggested a more modest $20 gamble, I agreed and before the cards were dealt each of us put in $20. The hand played out and I actually ended up winning with a pair of fours. This seemed to sooth the CCG's need to gamble and we went back to playing normally. I now had just over $500.

There are nine or ten seats at a standard poker table, not including the one the dealer sits in. They are numbered clockwise 1 to 9 (or 10) starting from the dealer's left. My four opponents were occupying seats 1 through 4, while I sat dangling out on seat six. This, combined with my reticence to gamble like the others, made me feel isolated. Add to this the fact that I was only white guy at the table, dealers included, and I stuck out even more, but I don't feel uncomfortable when I find myself in a situation like this - in fact I kind of like being noticed. Who doesn't like attention? The problem is that I have done dumb things (made bad calls and ill timed bluffs) simply because I wanted to win pots and get attention and/or adoration. This is a bad motivation and almost always has lost me money.

Be aware of your motivation. Ask yourself why you are playing poker and if the answer is "for fun" then ask yourself what it is about the game you find fun. The deeper your understanding of your own motivation, then the better your understanding of the motivations of your opponents. Take, for example, Crazy Chinese Gambler over in seat four. He is here for the thrill. The bigger the pot, the bigger the thrill. Be careful playing him, because he will play a very wide range of hands, making him tough to read. But his lack of control manifests itself in other ways - most noticeably he gives off a lot of tells. I have seen him do something when he has a hit a monster hand. This tell is probably tied to his thrill-seeking motivation in some way - part of the thrill for him is fooling people, so he always does this little bit of play acting when he wants you to think he's weak.

So this morning I am happy to keep folding and playing tight, and I try to imagine the motivations of my opponents. we continue on and on with just the five us.

"Where are all the other peoples?" asks Talky Black Guy. The poker room is still empty apart from us.

"It is Sunday," replies Crazy Chinese Gambler, "They are all in church."

"Church!" says Talky Black Guy (who I realize I should have named Shouting Black Guy) "This!"- he pounds the felt-  "This is church! No?!" And we all laugh and agree. Ha , ha. Yes, yes.

But as soon as he makes his little joke I suddenly feel I understand Shouting Black Guy's motivation - he is here to cleanse his soul in the river of chance. He has sins he needs to resolve himself of and God is dead to this man, so this is church. My blood runs a little cold. By his thick accent I guess he has come to Canada within the last ten years. His skin tone and build suggest West Africa. What kind of heavy sins could rest on the soul of a recent immigrant from Africa? What caused him to lose God and join the Church of Chance? Maybe my imagination getting the better of me but I can believe this guy could have done something really, really bad.

Too Much Cologne Boy, perhaps uncomfortable with the lopsided seating arrangement, moves from seat one to seat eight. While I have been here he has busted out, re-bought, busted out, re-bought, busted out and re-bought - but none of those chips went to me. If we both sit here long enough, some of his chips will be mine.

I then won a big pot when I had a high straight and Shouting Black Guy had a low straight. A small prayer answered for me while he has to wander in the desert a little longer. But my absolution is short lived - another hand is dealt.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Sunday Morning Prayer Meeting

I wanted to go to the casino early as I could on Sunday morning hoping that there might be some guys that had been there all night and were too tired to play well. It is not at all uncommon for a poker game to go right through the night, and coming in fresh against guys who'd been up twenty four hours seems like a smart plan.

There was indeed a table going when I walked into the poker room - six players who, unfortunately for me, looked  very alert and fresh. I guess I wasn't the only one with the Sunday morning surprise attack plan. Oh well, I'm here so I might as well play right? I buy in for $200 and take a seat to the left of a very sharky looking red-headed kid wearing an expensive purple silk shirt and a Breitling watch. This dude has about $400 in chips, so he has been winning. The other five players, counter clockwise from Sharky Kid, are Old Asian Guy (later to be re-named Crazy Chinese Gambler) Non-Descript Asian Woman (later to be re-named The Iron Lady) Talky Black Dude (who will be the one guy that later on makes my blood run cold), A blingy East Indian kid I dub Too-Much-Cologne-Boy and to my immediate left a thin, bearded, older white fellow with an aura of quiet toughness - guy I can easily imagine that has seen action in the military so I name him The Vietnam Vet.

The dealer asks me if I want to super post and I decline but on the next hand he again asks me if I want to come in and feeling a little itchy to play I post the $2. I am immediately glad that I posted because on my very first hand I'm dealt pocket aces. Sweet.

It's always great to get AA, but it's particularly nice to get it on the first hand you play because nobody else has a read on you yet. A nit like me often doesn't get paid off for monster hands, but these guys don't know I'm a nit yet. I raise to $15 and get two callers -  Too-Much-Cologne-Boy and Sharky kid. The flop comes Qc 5d Jh. Sharky kid leads out with a $15 bet (does he have a queen? I hope so.) and I re-raise to $35, a move in keeping with the loose aggressive image I'm hoping to project. TMCB calls and so does Sharky.

After the turn the board looks like this: Qc 5d Jh Kc. This makes me very nervous. Its possible that I'm now way behind one of these two has A10 or 9 10 or a set or two pair...and then there is the flush draw to worry about. But Sharky just checks and I feel he's afraid of same things I'm afraid of, so I bet $60. TMCB folds (yea!) and Sharkey thinks long and hard before calling. I take heart from the amount of time Sharkey takes to call - I don't think he has the straight.

There is about $270 in the pot when the river makes the board look like this: Qc 5d Jh Kc Jc. Sharkey dosen't seem to like that river. He thinks and thinks and then looks at me.

"You have pocket Aces, don't you?"

Normally I don't reply to questions like this, but for some reason I think a little reverse psychology is in order. I reply "Can you believe it? On my very first hand too!" Is he really afraid of the aces? Or is he trying to goad me into a bad call? I have no idea.

Sharkey finally bets $100 - which is more than I have left. Oh, shit. Now pocket clubs beat me too, but since one of my aces is a club, I feel a bit better - would a sharky guy chase a flush draw with anything less than the best flush possible? I engage in wishful thinking and decide he wouldn't. Of course I'm behind a full house or a straight too, but with only $90 left I am pot committed. Shit shit shit shit. Am I going to bust out on my first freaking hand !?!?!?

I take a deep breath and call. The second I announce my call Sharky says "You have the aces." I flip over my hand and he starts cursing, "Fuck, fuck, fuck! I knew it!" He turns over K Q and for a second I'm confused - he has two pair! Then I realize the jack on the river gave me a better two pair - what incredible luck!

As I rake in my pot. Sharkey continues to berate himself. Telling me he knew I had aces because my hands were shaking and I seemed really excited. This is news to me but I notice that yes, my hands are trembling. A lot. I need to watch that. But going from $200 to $450 in one hand makes me feel better about things.

This might be a very good day.