The poker room was absolutely hopping now. Beside our full table, two other tables are also full. I glance over at the computer screen near the cashiers cage and see that there are three people on the waiting list. Weird. An hour earlier three dealers were just sitting around waiting for customers.
Immediately after her boneheaded move and subsequent tantrum, The Iron Lady left the table, but she didn't take her chips with her. Of course players do this all the time - to go to the washroom, to have a smoke, whatever. After an explosion, like the Iron Lady's, a player will often just go take a walk around the block to clear their head and cool down. If a player is leaving for more than a few minutes, it is courteous to inform the dealer or house boss. Typically they will let you hold your seat for up to 45 minutes, which gives you time to go get a bite to eat, but you have to let them know that's what you are doing, otherwise after twenty minutes or so the house boss can make your seat available to someone on the waiting list and you can pick your remaining money at the cashier's window when you get back. Needless to say, The Iron Lady was not getting any favours after her outburst and so after twenty minutes her chips were cleared away. I imagined her blowing her stack completely when she came back, but the house boss clearly had had enough of her behavior.
In the meantime something weird began to happen, Too Much Cologne Boy had been playing a high percentage of hands and calling down to the river more often than not - a recipe for disaster. But he started to get incredibly lucky, calling down with an inside straight and hitting it on the river. Calling with terrible pot odds and sucking out again and again. His main victim was Don't Mess With Me, who lost about $400 to TMCB in two consecutive bad beats. This kind of thing happens. Partially it's just the law of averages that a poor percentage plays will hit now and again, sometimes in clusters. But "beginner's luck" is aided by the fact that normally smart players enter hands they normally wouldn't in the hopes of fleecing the sheep. The play looser than they should, and sometimes the sheep fleeces them.
The Colour Commentator shook his head sadly. "I hate playing against people who don't know how to play" he said. I have heard a lot of poker players say this and, if you think about it for more than five seconds, I'm sure you'll agree it is a dumb thing to say. I personally wish I only ever played against people who don't know how to play. Nevertheless for appearance sake I had to nod in agreement.
"Yeah," I replied "Don't even think about bluffing at this table!"
My strategy when things go all wild west like this is to go from very-tight to super-duper-tight. Only play premium hands and let the guy who can't fold pay you off. Everyone else at the table, with the exception of the Unibrower, took the opposite strategy and loosened up their games in order to try and take down one of the big pots that seemed to build every hand. While Unibrower and I were silently competing to see who could fold the most pre-flop, mountains of chips were shifting back and forth.
I finally got a hand I could play, pocket jacks, when I was in the small blind. It had limped to Don't Mess With Me who had bet $35 so I raised him to $70. It was the first bet I had made in about an hour and it sent everyone running to the hills in fear. Everyone but DMWM, who called. When rags came on the flop I checked, expecting a bet from DMWM and he obliged, betting $50. I really liked the way he bet - he announced the "Fifty!" in a deep firm tone and pushed his chips forward with a quick, almost emphatic movement. Usually acting strong like this is a sure sign of weakness and I felt there was something fishy about his little performance. Why be so sure to act strong when the action is checked to you? Because you are not very strong. So I raised him to $100. Boy that sure made him think and the longer he thought the more certain I was that I was ahead. After a while he said, "I have an over-pair" and the second he said that I knew he had a lower pocket pair than mine because if he had qq, kk or aa he would have called by now. After thinking for a couple minutes more he folded, showing me his pocket 10's. I congratulated him on a good fold and showed him my jacks.
My stack was just over $700 now.
Maybe half an hour later I was in the small blind again, this time with AQo. Somebody bet $15 and The Unibrower, on the button, raised it to $35. I considered just getting out of the way, but AQ is hard to fold, even for a nit like me, so I called. Everyone else could not fold fast enough with the two tight boys putting their chips in. The flop was 2h 6c 9d - rags. I checked. The Unibrower bet $55 and I quickly re-raised to $160.
I am pretty sure that Unibrower is going to lay his hand down. After all, I am the guy who said it was stupid to even think about bluffing at this table. The Unibrower is, I think, a really good player and a really good player would probably put me on a set here. A really good player would have enough discipline to lay down an over pair. I just hope he is that good.
"Did you have a set of fives or a set of nines?" he asks, looking at my face for any signs. About five hours later I realize a good answer would have been, "Does it matter?", but at the time all I could think to do was to try and stare a hole through the felt. Finally he folds, throwing his pocket jacket face up in the muck. This was a good fold really, there was no way I would have made a check-raise like that if I didn't have a set or, at the very least, AA or KK. I would not have made such a bet with anything but a hand that beats JJ....Or a stone cold bluff and a really good player like The Unibrower never just hopes his opponent has chosen this moment to make his first bluff.
It was probably mean of me but I showed The Unibrower my hand, hoping it might either put him on tilt or persuade him to transfer to a different table. Unlike The Colour Commentator, I'd prefer another player who doesn't know how to play at my table.
And maybe the next time I have a monster hand I might get called by someone who remembers this bluff.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Sunday Morning Prayer Meeting: Part 3
It's now well past noon and suddenly people start coming into the poker room. Shouty Black Guy has left, but his seat is quickly filled by a balding thin middle-aged guy with an abundance of nervous energy - he looks like Billy Collins after fifteen cups of coffee. The table soon fills up:
Seat 1: Mr. Twitchy
Seat 2: The Iron Lady
Seat 3: Don't Mess With Me (Very big, bald, goatee-d,..biker gang type)
Seat 4: Crazy Chinese Gambler
Seat 5: The Unibrower (A young guy who seems very comfortable at a poker table)
Seat 6: Me
Seat 7: The Colour Commentator (new to the table, he will keep a running analysis going on each hand.)
Seat 8: Too Much Cologne Boy (Please, please, please let me get into a hand with him!)
Seat 9: Giggles (a very young Asian who quickly strikes up a bromance with TMCB)
Isn't poker great? Where else can you sit down with a group like this? Some of these people are very serious poker players, some are life long gamblers, one barely knows what he's doing. Some are friendly others grouchy. What could possibly be more fun than sitting down against a table full of characters like this and try to take their money while they try to yours?
Once the new configuration was established we settled in, then one of the weirdest hands I have ever witnessed took place. To make it easier to follow for you (and it was very confusing!) I will let you see everyone's hole cards - just like the do on TV!
The Unibrower, under the gun, limped in with 5c 4c.
I folded something crappy.
The Colour Commentator called with 6d 4s
TCMB and Giggles both call with mystery cards.
Mr. Twitchy folds.
The Iron Lady calls with Jc 10c
Don't Mess With Me calls with 9c 9h
Seven players are in. The flop comes: 6c 4d 3c. Fireworks!
The Unibrower is the first to act. With 5c 4c hole cards he has an incredible hand - a flush draw, an open ended straight draw, two outs to a straight flush...even though he currently has only middle pair, it is actually more probable than not that he is going to hit a monster here. As an experienced player, he knows how strong he is too. He bets $15 hoping to build the pot.
Next to act is The Commentator, who with 6d 4s has hit the top two pair. He figures (correctly) that he probably has the best hand at this point, but is afraid of the straight and flush draws so he raises to $40 hoping to scare the others away.
TMCB and Giggles fold.
The Iron Lady, with Jc 10c, has a fairly strong flush draw. She decides to call the $40 (probably a bad idea, given the pot odds and the number of players still in the hand) and then she does one of the dumbest things I have ever seen - she shows her cards to the player on her left, Don't Mess With Me, who is still in the hand! Showing your cards to a player still in the hand is a supreme no-no. Doing so, in any card room in the world, will result in your own hand being declared dead. As you might expect, the table erupts in angry yelling. Several players are yelling that the Iron Lady's hand must be declared dead, The Iron Lady, just as angry, says she didn't know the rule and therefore she must be allowed to play her hand. The pit boss comes over and settles everyone down, hears what happened, and declares her hand dead. She is very angry and tries to pull the $40 she bet back into her stack, which causes the table to erupt again. Another five minutes of shouting and arguing ensue before the Iron Lady is made to understand her $40 is non-refundable. Totally unreal.
Don't Mess With Me didn't catch a piece of the flop with his pocket nines. He has an over-pair, normally a strong hand, and the extra $40 of dead money has sweetened the pot nicely. Oh, what the heck, he calls.
The pot is now about $150 when the action is back on The Unibrower, who with his massively strong drawing hand must be just delighted with the way things have gone. He has about $250 left in front of him and he pushed all of it into the middle.
This puts The Commentator in a tough spot. If I were him I would fold two pair here, but he somehow senses he is the strongest hand right now - and he is right. He calls with his remaining $150.
With only an overpair, Don't Mess With Me has to know he is behind, and calling herewith his remaining $200 would be a very bad move. He makes a very bad move and calls.
The players now all in, flip their cards face up.
The turn brings the queen of clubs. The Unibrower is now ahead with a club flush. The river comes - eight....of clubs. There are now four clubs on the board, so the nine of clubs Don't Mess With Me has gives him a stronger flush than The Unibrower. An unreal bad beat.
Don't Mess With Me, who played the hand like an idiot, wins the $600 main pot and The Unibrower, who played like a pro, gets the $100 side pot - a net loss of $200 for him.
The Colour Commentator losses all his money, re-buys for $300, and spends the next twenty minutes explaining how he made the right call and should have won.
Seat 1: Mr. Twitchy
Seat 2: The Iron Lady
Seat 3: Don't Mess With Me (Very big, bald, goatee-d,..biker gang type)
Seat 4: Crazy Chinese Gambler
Seat 5: The Unibrower (A young guy who seems very comfortable at a poker table)
Seat 6: Me
Seat 7: The Colour Commentator (new to the table, he will keep a running analysis going on each hand.)
Seat 8: Too Much Cologne Boy (Please, please, please let me get into a hand with him!)
Seat 9: Giggles (a very young Asian who quickly strikes up a bromance with TMCB)
Isn't poker great? Where else can you sit down with a group like this? Some of these people are very serious poker players, some are life long gamblers, one barely knows what he's doing. Some are friendly others grouchy. What could possibly be more fun than sitting down against a table full of characters like this and try to take their money while they try to yours?
Once the new configuration was established we settled in, then one of the weirdest hands I have ever witnessed took place. To make it easier to follow for you (and it was very confusing!) I will let you see everyone's hole cards - just like the do on TV!
The Unibrower, under the gun, limped in with 5c 4c.
I folded something crappy.
The Colour Commentator called with 6d 4s
TCMB and Giggles both call with mystery cards.
Mr. Twitchy folds.
The Iron Lady calls with Jc 10c
Don't Mess With Me calls with 9c 9h
Seven players are in. The flop comes: 6c 4d 3c. Fireworks!
The Unibrower is the first to act. With 5c 4c hole cards he has an incredible hand - a flush draw, an open ended straight draw, two outs to a straight flush...even though he currently has only middle pair, it is actually more probable than not that he is going to hit a monster here. As an experienced player, he knows how strong he is too. He bets $15 hoping to build the pot.
Next to act is The Commentator, who with 6d 4s has hit the top two pair. He figures (correctly) that he probably has the best hand at this point, but is afraid of the straight and flush draws so he raises to $40 hoping to scare the others away.
TMCB and Giggles fold.
The Iron Lady, with Jc 10c, has a fairly strong flush draw. She decides to call the $40 (probably a bad idea, given the pot odds and the number of players still in the hand) and then she does one of the dumbest things I have ever seen - she shows her cards to the player on her left, Don't Mess With Me, who is still in the hand! Showing your cards to a player still in the hand is a supreme no-no. Doing so, in any card room in the world, will result in your own hand being declared dead. As you might expect, the table erupts in angry yelling. Several players are yelling that the Iron Lady's hand must be declared dead, The Iron Lady, just as angry, says she didn't know the rule and therefore she must be allowed to play her hand. The pit boss comes over and settles everyone down, hears what happened, and declares her hand dead. She is very angry and tries to pull the $40 she bet back into her stack, which causes the table to erupt again. Another five minutes of shouting and arguing ensue before the Iron Lady is made to understand her $40 is non-refundable. Totally unreal.
Don't Mess With Me didn't catch a piece of the flop with his pocket nines. He has an over-pair, normally a strong hand, and the extra $40 of dead money has sweetened the pot nicely. Oh, what the heck, he calls.
The pot is now about $150 when the action is back on The Unibrower, who with his massively strong drawing hand must be just delighted with the way things have gone. He has about $250 left in front of him and he pushed all of it into the middle.
This puts The Commentator in a tough spot. If I were him I would fold two pair here, but he somehow senses he is the strongest hand right now - and he is right. He calls with his remaining $150.
With only an overpair, Don't Mess With Me has to know he is behind, and calling herewith his remaining $200 would be a very bad move. He makes a very bad move and calls.
The players now all in, flip their cards face up.
The turn brings the queen of clubs. The Unibrower is now ahead with a club flush. The river comes - eight....of clubs. There are now four clubs on the board, so the nine of clubs Don't Mess With Me has gives him a stronger flush than The Unibrower. An unreal bad beat.
Don't Mess With Me, who played the hand like an idiot, wins the $600 main pot and The Unibrower, who played like a pro, gets the $100 side pot - a net loss of $200 for him.
The Colour Commentator losses all his money, re-buys for $300, and spends the next twenty minutes explaining how he made the right call and should have won.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Sunday Morning Prayer Meeting, Part 2
Take me to the river
And wash me down
Won't you cleanse my soul
Put my feet on the ground - Al Green
I know I have a problem with the shakes. For the first fifteen or twenty minutes after I sit down at a poker table,I have difficulty controlling my excitement and my hands tremble noticeably. After taking down my first big pot yesterday, I decided to not play a hand until my nerves had settled. I know from experience that once I get under control the shakes usually don't come back.
So it was fold, fold, fold, for about twenty minutes during which time Sharky Kid, on tilt after his bad beat to me, lost the remainder of his chips and left muttering angrily. The Vietnam Vet also went home, which just five of us. Things started getting a little weird. Playing with fewer players usually means that everything loosens up - an uncomfortable situation for a nit like me. The other four really just wanted to gamble and the Crazy Chinese Gambler was the most action hungry of the lot, making blind raises and suggesting we all switch to$2/$5 limits. When I declined, he then proposed that everybody put $100 into the pot blind pre-flop. Out of the five of us, I was the only one who didn't agree to this idea - I don't come to a casino to gamble, for crying out loud! Still, I was aware that I was spoiling the party for the others. When CCG suggested a more modest $20 gamble, I agreed and before the cards were dealt each of us put in $20. The hand played out and I actually ended up winning with a pair of fours. This seemed to sooth the CCG's need to gamble and we went back to playing normally. I now had just over $500.
There are nine or ten seats at a standard poker table, not including the one the dealer sits in. They are numbered clockwise 1 to 9 (or 10) starting from the dealer's left. My four opponents were occupying seats 1 through 4, while I sat dangling out on seat six. This, combined with my reticence to gamble like the others, made me feel isolated. Add to this the fact that I was only white guy at the table, dealers included, and I stuck out even more, but I don't feel uncomfortable when I find myself in a situation like this - in fact I kind of like being noticed. Who doesn't like attention? The problem is that I have done dumb things (made bad calls and ill timed bluffs) simply because I wanted to win pots and get attention and/or adoration. This is a bad motivation and almost always has lost me money.
Be aware of your motivation. Ask yourself why you are playing poker and if the answer is "for fun" then ask yourself what it is about the game you find fun. The deeper your understanding of your own motivation, then the better your understanding of the motivations of your opponents. Take, for example, Crazy Chinese Gambler over in seat four. He is here for the thrill. The bigger the pot, the bigger the thrill. Be careful playing him, because he will play a very wide range of hands, making him tough to read. But his lack of control manifests itself in other ways - most noticeably he gives off a lot of tells. I have seen him do something when he has a hit a monster hand. This tell is probably tied to his thrill-seeking motivation in some way - part of the thrill for him is fooling people, so he always does this little bit of play acting when he wants you to think he's weak.
So this morning I am happy to keep folding and playing tight, and I try to imagine the motivations of my opponents. we continue on and on with just the five us.
"Where are all the other peoples?" asks Talky Black Guy. The poker room is still empty apart from us.
"It is Sunday," replies Crazy Chinese Gambler, "They are all in church."
"Church!" says Talky Black Guy (who I realize I should have named Shouting Black Guy) "This!"- he pounds the felt- "This is church! No?!" And we all laugh and agree. Ha , ha. Yes, yes.
But as soon as he makes his little joke I suddenly feel I understand Shouting Black Guy's motivation - he is here to cleanse his soul in the river of chance. He has sins he needs to resolve himself of and God is dead to this man, so this is church. My blood runs a little cold. By his thick accent I guess he has come to Canada within the last ten years. His skin tone and build suggest West Africa. What kind of heavy sins could rest on the soul of a recent immigrant from Africa? What caused him to lose God and join the Church of Chance? Maybe my imagination getting the better of me but I can believe this guy could have done something really, really bad.
Too Much Cologne Boy, perhaps uncomfortable with the lopsided seating arrangement, moves from seat one to seat eight. While I have been here he has busted out, re-bought, busted out, re-bought, busted out and re-bought - but none of those chips went to me. If we both sit here long enough, some of his chips will be mine.
I then won a big pot when I had a high straight and Shouting Black Guy had a low straight. A small prayer answered for me while he has to wander in the desert a little longer. But my absolution is short lived - another hand is dealt.
And wash me down
Won't you cleanse my soul
Put my feet on the ground - Al Green
I know I have a problem with the shakes. For the first fifteen or twenty minutes after I sit down at a poker table,I have difficulty controlling my excitement and my hands tremble noticeably. After taking down my first big pot yesterday, I decided to not play a hand until my nerves had settled. I know from experience that once I get under control the shakes usually don't come back.
So it was fold, fold, fold, for about twenty minutes during which time Sharky Kid, on tilt after his bad beat to me, lost the remainder of his chips and left muttering angrily. The Vietnam Vet also went home, which just five of us. Things started getting a little weird. Playing with fewer players usually means that everything loosens up - an uncomfortable situation for a nit like me. The other four really just wanted to gamble and the Crazy Chinese Gambler was the most action hungry of the lot, making blind raises and suggesting we all switch to$2/$5 limits. When I declined, he then proposed that everybody put $100 into the pot blind pre-flop. Out of the five of us, I was the only one who didn't agree to this idea - I don't come to a casino to gamble, for crying out loud! Still, I was aware that I was spoiling the party for the others. When CCG suggested a more modest $20 gamble, I agreed and before the cards were dealt each of us put in $20. The hand played out and I actually ended up winning with a pair of fours. This seemed to sooth the CCG's need to gamble and we went back to playing normally. I now had just over $500.
There are nine or ten seats at a standard poker table, not including the one the dealer sits in. They are numbered clockwise 1 to 9 (or 10) starting from the dealer's left. My four opponents were occupying seats 1 through 4, while I sat dangling out on seat six. This, combined with my reticence to gamble like the others, made me feel isolated. Add to this the fact that I was only white guy at the table, dealers included, and I stuck out even more, but I don't feel uncomfortable when I find myself in a situation like this - in fact I kind of like being noticed. Who doesn't like attention? The problem is that I have done dumb things (made bad calls and ill timed bluffs) simply because I wanted to win pots and get attention and/or adoration. This is a bad motivation and almost always has lost me money.
Be aware of your motivation. Ask yourself why you are playing poker and if the answer is "for fun" then ask yourself what it is about the game you find fun. The deeper your understanding of your own motivation, then the better your understanding of the motivations of your opponents. Take, for example, Crazy Chinese Gambler over in seat four. He is here for the thrill. The bigger the pot, the bigger the thrill. Be careful playing him, because he will play a very wide range of hands, making him tough to read. But his lack of control manifests itself in other ways - most noticeably he gives off a lot of tells. I have seen him do something when he has a hit a monster hand. This tell is probably tied to his thrill-seeking motivation in some way - part of the thrill for him is fooling people, so he always does this little bit of play acting when he wants you to think he's weak.
So this morning I am happy to keep folding and playing tight, and I try to imagine the motivations of my opponents. we continue on and on with just the five us.
"Where are all the other peoples?" asks Talky Black Guy. The poker room is still empty apart from us.
"It is Sunday," replies Crazy Chinese Gambler, "They are all in church."
"Church!" says Talky Black Guy (who I realize I should have named Shouting Black Guy) "This!"- he pounds the felt- "This is church! No?!" And we all laugh and agree. Ha , ha. Yes, yes.
But as soon as he makes his little joke I suddenly feel I understand Shouting Black Guy's motivation - he is here to cleanse his soul in the river of chance. He has sins he needs to resolve himself of and God is dead to this man, so this is church. My blood runs a little cold. By his thick accent I guess he has come to Canada within the last ten years. His skin tone and build suggest West Africa. What kind of heavy sins could rest on the soul of a recent immigrant from Africa? What caused him to lose God and join the Church of Chance? Maybe my imagination getting the better of me but I can believe this guy could have done something really, really bad.
Too Much Cologne Boy, perhaps uncomfortable with the lopsided seating arrangement, moves from seat one to seat eight. While I have been here he has busted out, re-bought, busted out, re-bought, busted out and re-bought - but none of those chips went to me. If we both sit here long enough, some of his chips will be mine.
I then won a big pot when I had a high straight and Shouting Black Guy had a low straight. A small prayer answered for me while he has to wander in the desert a little longer. But my absolution is short lived - another hand is dealt.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Sunday Morning Prayer Meeting
I wanted to go to the casino early as I could on Sunday morning hoping that there might be some guys that had been there all night and were too tired to play well. It is not at all uncommon for a poker game to go right through the night, and coming in fresh against guys who'd been up twenty four hours seems like a smart plan.
There was indeed a table going when I walked into the poker room - six players who, unfortunately for me, looked very alert and fresh. I guess I wasn't the only one with the Sunday morning surprise attack plan. Oh well, I'm here so I might as well play right? I buy in for $200 and take a seat to the left of a very sharky looking red-headed kid wearing an expensive purple silk shirt and a Breitling watch. This dude has about $400 in chips, so he has been winning. The other five players, counter clockwise from Sharky Kid, are Old Asian Guy (later to be re-named Crazy Chinese Gambler) Non-Descript Asian Woman (later to be re-named The Iron Lady) Talky Black Dude (who will be the one guy that later on makes my blood run cold), A blingy East Indian kid I dub Too-Much-Cologne-Boy and to my immediate left a thin, bearded, older white fellow with an aura of quiet toughness - guy I can easily imagine that has seen action in the military so I name him The Vietnam Vet.
The dealer asks me if I want to super post and I decline but on the next hand he again asks me if I want to come in and feeling a little itchy to play I post the $2. I am immediately glad that I posted because on my very first hand I'm dealt pocket aces. Sweet.
It's always great to get AA, but it's particularly nice to get it on the first hand you play because nobody else has a read on you yet. A nit like me often doesn't get paid off for monster hands, but these guys don't know I'm a nit yet. I raise to $15 and get two callers - Too-Much-Cologne-Boy and Sharky kid. The flop comes Qc 5d Jh. Sharky kid leads out with a $15 bet (does he have a queen? I hope so.) and I re-raise to $35, a move in keeping with the loose aggressive image I'm hoping to project. TMCB calls and so does Sharky.
After the turn the board looks like this: Qc 5d Jh Kc. This makes me very nervous. Its possible that I'm now way behind one of these two has A10 or 9 10 or a set or two pair...and then there is the flush draw to worry about. But Sharky just checks and I feel he's afraid of same things I'm afraid of, so I bet $60. TMCB folds (yea!) and Sharkey thinks long and hard before calling. I take heart from the amount of time Sharkey takes to call - I don't think he has the straight.
There is about $270 in the pot when the river makes the board look like this: Qc 5d Jh Kc Jc. Sharkey dosen't seem to like that river. He thinks and thinks and then looks at me.
"You have pocket Aces, don't you?"
Normally I don't reply to questions like this, but for some reason I think a little reverse psychology is in order. I reply "Can you believe it? On my very first hand too!" Is he really afraid of the aces? Or is he trying to goad me into a bad call? I have no idea.
Sharkey finally bets $100 - which is more than I have left. Oh, shit. Now pocket clubs beat me too, but since one of my aces is a club, I feel a bit better - would a sharky guy chase a flush draw with anything less than the best flush possible? I engage in wishful thinking and decide he wouldn't. Of course I'm behind a full house or a straight too, but with only $90 left I am pot committed. Shit shit shit shit. Am I going to bust out on my first freaking hand !?!?!?
I take a deep breath and call. The second I announce my call Sharky says "You have the aces." I flip over my hand and he starts cursing, "Fuck, fuck, fuck! I knew it!" He turns over K Q and for a second I'm confused - he has two pair! Then I realize the jack on the river gave me a better two pair - what incredible luck!
As I rake in my pot. Sharkey continues to berate himself. Telling me he knew I had aces because my hands were shaking and I seemed really excited. This is news to me but I notice that yes, my hands are trembling. A lot. I need to watch that. But going from $200 to $450 in one hand makes me feel better about things.
This might be a very good day.
There was indeed a table going when I walked into the poker room - six players who, unfortunately for me, looked very alert and fresh. I guess I wasn't the only one with the Sunday morning surprise attack plan. Oh well, I'm here so I might as well play right? I buy in for $200 and take a seat to the left of a very sharky looking red-headed kid wearing an expensive purple silk shirt and a Breitling watch. This dude has about $400 in chips, so he has been winning. The other five players, counter clockwise from Sharky Kid, are Old Asian Guy (later to be re-named Crazy Chinese Gambler) Non-Descript Asian Woman (later to be re-named The Iron Lady) Talky Black Dude (who will be the one guy that later on makes my blood run cold), A blingy East Indian kid I dub Too-Much-Cologne-Boy and to my immediate left a thin, bearded, older white fellow with an aura of quiet toughness - guy I can easily imagine that has seen action in the military so I name him The Vietnam Vet.
The dealer asks me if I want to super post and I decline but on the next hand he again asks me if I want to come in and feeling a little itchy to play I post the $2. I am immediately glad that I posted because on my very first hand I'm dealt pocket aces. Sweet.
It's always great to get AA, but it's particularly nice to get it on the first hand you play because nobody else has a read on you yet. A nit like me often doesn't get paid off for monster hands, but these guys don't know I'm a nit yet. I raise to $15 and get two callers - Too-Much-Cologne-Boy and Sharky kid. The flop comes Qc 5d Jh. Sharky kid leads out with a $15 bet (does he have a queen? I hope so.) and I re-raise to $35, a move in keeping with the loose aggressive image I'm hoping to project. TMCB calls and so does Sharky.
After the turn the board looks like this: Qc 5d Jh Kc. This makes me very nervous. Its possible that I'm now way behind one of these two has A10 or 9 10 or a set or two pair...and then there is the flush draw to worry about. But Sharky just checks and I feel he's afraid of same things I'm afraid of, so I bet $60. TMCB folds (yea!) and Sharkey thinks long and hard before calling. I take heart from the amount of time Sharkey takes to call - I don't think he has the straight.
There is about $270 in the pot when the river makes the board look like this: Qc 5d Jh Kc Jc. Sharkey dosen't seem to like that river. He thinks and thinks and then looks at me.
"You have pocket Aces, don't you?"
Normally I don't reply to questions like this, but for some reason I think a little reverse psychology is in order. I reply "Can you believe it? On my very first hand too!" Is he really afraid of the aces? Or is he trying to goad me into a bad call? I have no idea.
Sharkey finally bets $100 - which is more than I have left. Oh, shit. Now pocket clubs beat me too, but since one of my aces is a club, I feel a bit better - would a sharky guy chase a flush draw with anything less than the best flush possible? I engage in wishful thinking and decide he wouldn't. Of course I'm behind a full house or a straight too, but with only $90 left I am pot committed. Shit shit shit shit. Am I going to bust out on my first freaking hand !?!?!?
I take a deep breath and call. The second I announce my call Sharky says "You have the aces." I flip over my hand and he starts cursing, "Fuck, fuck, fuck! I knew it!" He turns over K Q and for a second I'm confused - he has two pair! Then I realize the jack on the river gave me a better two pair - what incredible luck!
As I rake in my pot. Sharkey continues to berate himself. Telling me he knew I had aces because my hands were shaking and I seemed really excited. This is news to me but I notice that yes, my hands are trembling. A lot. I need to watch that. But going from $200 to $450 in one hand makes me feel better about things.
This might be a very good day.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
No Lessons Learned
Humans are essentially problem solving animals. We look for patterns - try to find the link between cause and effect. We are uncomfortable with the seemingly random and try to find ways to make order out of chaos. This is why poker is so fascinating and so frustrating - it is a very very difficult game to "solve" in the game-theory sense of the word.
My last trip to the casino went very well. I made just over $600 in about four hours playing $1/$2 NLHE. The secret of my success? I honestly couldn't tell you. Getting dealt slightly better hands than my opponents were dealt, I guess. Some people would call it nothing but luck (I know my opponents called it that!) but did I learn anything that I can pass along? Can I give you a tip that will make you a better poker player? No, I don't think so.
Some days are like that.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Han Solo Poker
Remember that scene in Star Wars where Han and Chewie are chasing a bunch of stormtroopers down the halls of the deathstar? It takes the stormtroopers a few minutes before they realize "Hey, why are we running? We've got these guys out numbered!" and then they turn and chase Han and Chewie. Well something like that can happen at the poker table; you can rake in the pot if act boldly enough, but you have to take it down before the stormtroopers figure out what's going on. Sometimes weird things happen at the poker table and you can profit from the weirdness by acting boldly. In a confusing situation, the human instinct is to flee - so you can induce that flight instinct in your opponent by going on the offensive.
Case in point: I was playing a tournament in which I had made it to the final table with a sizable chip lead. I was playing very tight poker- and was well aware that I could now probably steal some pots based on my tight image. I was in the big blind, but I made the mistake of thinking I was under-the-gun and therefore first to act. I tried to fold my 7 4 off suit, but the dealer pushed my cards back to me, explaining that I'm in the big blind. Now technically speaking she made a mistake - even though I had folded out of turn, I had still folded and my hand should have been dead. But she gave me my cards back. No-one else at the table made any objection because they all thought it was funny that I made this mistake, and obviously I was going to fold if anyone raised my big blind. "That's a bit of a tell!" one joked and the others all laughed. And I laughed too - oopsie! Sure enough a guy in late position puts in a raise and it folds to me.
This is where I'm supposed to sheepishly fold, right? For some strange reason my instinct tells me it's time to do the unexpected. "You know, I think I might just play this. I call." This elicits more laughter. The flop comes with an ace and two rags - neither of which is a 7 or a 4. I check. My opponent bets half the pot and I don't even hesitate before pushing all-in. My thinking is that if he has an ace he'll call and i'll lose - but he probably doesn't have an ace. With less than top pair, he will almost certainly fold with his tournament life on the line. It is a confusing situation for him. If he really thinks it through, it will probably dawn on him that I'm probably bluffing but I'm counting on him folding before he reaches that point, that hey, why am I running? moment. Luckily for me the weirdness of the situation had him off-balance and he did what most poker players do when they are attacked - they fold.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Victories and disappointments
The extent to which you are in control of your life and the extent to which you the plaything of fate is something smarter people than me have pondered and written about. I will say this; it is human nature to believe that when you are successful it is do to your skill, and to believe when you are unsuccessful it is due to circumstances beyond your control.
We also tend to believe that victory and defeat have a lot to do with desire - we will win if we "want it bad enough." While I think this is true in a general sense, the "want it bad enough" myth doesn't always hold water. The Calgary Flames probably wanted to win that game last week more than the opposing team because they didn't want to be knocked out of the playoffs. They didn't like being told they sucked. But they lost anyway. In fact they may be losing so much because they are so desperate to win - they are second guessing themselves on the ice and "squeezing the stick too much."
Success, it seems to me, is most often the result of finding the sweet spot where determination dances with patience. Confidence in yourself as well as the wisdom to let the universe come to you.
***
Since my on-line melt down, I have limited my real-money poker to weekly live tournaments. The results have been pretty good: I have made the final table three times, going out on the bubble once and cashing twice - including a win. Still I have never wanted to win a tournament as badly as the one I entered last night - a charity event where half the proceeds went to a local animal rescue group. There were 91 entrants, with re-buys though the first four levels. The top nine got paid. I was knocked out in thirteenth position.
Maybe I could have done better if I hadn't wanted to win so badly. I squeezed the stick too hard.
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