Victories and disappointments

The extent to which you are in control of your life and the extent to which you the plaything of fate is something smarter people than me have pondered and written about. I will say this; it is human nature to believe that when you are successful it is do to your skill, and to believe when you are unsuccessful it is due to circumstances beyond your control.

We also tend to believe that victory and defeat have a lot to do with desire - we will win if we "want it bad enough." While I think this is true in a general sense, the "want it bad enough" myth doesn't always hold water. The Calgary Flames probably wanted to win that game last week more than the opposing team because they didn't want to be knocked out of the playoffs. They didn't like being told they sucked. But they lost anyway. In fact they may be losing so much because they are so desperate to win - they are second guessing themselves on the ice and "squeezing the stick too much."

Success, it seems to me, is most often the result of finding the sweet spot where determination dances with patience. Confidence in yourself as well as the wisdom to let the universe come to you.

***

Since my on-line melt down, I have limited my real-money poker to weekly live tournaments. The results have been pretty good: I have made the final table three times, going out on the bubble once and cashing twice - including a win. Still I have never wanted to win a tournament as badly as the one I entered last night - a charity event where half the proceeds went to a local animal rescue group. There were 91 entrants, with re-buys though the first four levels. The top nine got paid. I was knocked out in thirteenth position.

Maybe I could have done better if I hadn't wanted to win so badly. I squeezed the stick too hard.