Punch the Clock

I knew by the lack of cars in the underground parking lot that there would not be a game going in the poker room yet. As is my ritual, I park in a remote spot. The long walk across the dank concrete and then up the two flights of stairs gives me a chance to burn off some of the nervous energy I always have when I go to the casino. There is an electric tingle in my chest - anticipation, excitement - you could definitely call it a thrill. This rush is a dangerous thing and I want to get it out of my system, yet at the same time it serves the useful purpose of putting all my senses on high alert. I see it as a performance enhancing drug once you get it down to the point where it doesn't over rule the better judgement of the brain. It's all about balance. I try to monitor my inner-thrill level during the course of the day. Too much buzz and I make loose decisions. No buzz at all means I'm not paying close enough attention.

As I suspected there is no one in the poker room except for one dealer and the two managers, who are playing pot-limit omaha to see who buys coffee. When I recently posted on how difficult it is to be a poker dealer, I was writing about the simple game of hold 'em - dealing omaha is much more difficult, so it is not uncommon to see dealers practicing when they have nothing else to do. I asked if I could sit at the table to watch and they seem genuinely fine with that.

This is a great opportunity to learn something and I don't mean omaha. These people spend the working lives observing poker players. I start by expressing my genuine amazement that anyone can keep track of everything a omaha dealer has to keep track of. As I hoped, this flattery gets me on their good side. One of the managers (I think his name is Mike) tells me that a lot of people think dealing is easy. "I have had a lot of poker players tell me they would like to become dealers, but almost none of them make it. I start training them and most of the quit before they are even half-way ready to deal." Everything looks easy from the outside doesn't it?

"Does it work better the other way around?" I ask Mike. "Do dealers turn into great poker players?"

"Not really. The problem is that the dealers usually pick up the bad habits of the players. They see guys winning with garbage hands and they will start playing garbage hands too. They forget about all the garbage hands that lose."

Mike (if that's his name) is a big red headed man. At a little over six foot, he has the build of a linebacker, and a manly sort of easy going nature. A highly likable guy who seems to have found his calling. I'm sitting with Mike on my right and I ask him questions when he's not in a hand. I learn that compared to other cities, Calgary is notorious for the loose action at the poker tables. "A $1/$2 game in Calgary plays like a $2/$5 game anywhere else. A $2/$5 game here is like playing $5/$10. This is why omaha isn't really catching on - a beginner will lose too much money. You will go broke before you learn the game."

This seems to make a lot of sense to me. I remember the $1/$2 no-limit games I played in Vegas as being incredibly tight affairs. There was virtually no bluffing and hands very rarely went to a showdown. Here, you always see the flop, almost always see the turn, and more often than not the hand goes all the way to the river.

Also at the table is the "Lady of the House", Bernice. Bernie is a slim lady in her fifties. She wears dark framed glasses and has spiky bleach-blond hair. She is a total professional. She remembered my name the second time I came here, and even when I didn't come here once over a five month stretch still remembered my name when I came again. The first thing she said to me today was "You aren't playing in the World Series this year, Tyler?".  If anyone else has said that, it would have sounded fawning or mocking but Bernie really treats you like a star. How can you not love her? Most players that come here, even the most curmudgeonly, like her so much that whenever she is called to a table to settle a dispute most of the players will respect her decisions and criticize those who don't.

The dealer is named Joe. I don't remember seeing him before. Joe looks like the chubby kid that got picked on in school. An interesting hand develops between Joe and Bernie. Joe raised pre-flop, Mike folded and Bernie called. The flop came down something like: Kd 4c 9d. Bernie checks and Joe checks. The turn is 4h, so the board is Kd 4c 9d 4h -very scary! Bernie checks and Joe checks. The river is the 2d making the board Kd 4c 9d 4h 2d. Bernie pushes almost all her chips forward and I think she must have a flush in diamonds or has been slow playing a full house. Joe thinks for maybe five seconds and then says "I only have two pair but I'm going to call you anyway." He shows a king and an ace.

Bernie is flabbergasted. "How can you call!" She show that she has diddly squat. "How can you possibly call with a paired board and three diamonds!"

"Well, I figured if you had the flush you would have bet less to entice a call. Ditto for a full house."

So there you go. Sometimes a big bet is a sign of weakness.

And you can always learn something just by watching others play.