The Dumbest Poker Hand Ever Played On Earth.

Last year I played some poker at Cowboys Casino during Stampede, and I was blown away by the craziness. If you've ever played Zynga poker for fake money and found yourself wishing that real poker could be like that, then I would highly recommend playing poker on the Stampede grounds during the Calgary Stampede.

I went down there Saturday night and played for about four hours. Even though I left with a modest win, I still felt mildly nauseous about the out-of-control gambling I had witnessed.  I had built my $100 to about $500 in three hours, whittled it back down to $400 in half an hour, and then I participated (and lost another $100) in what can only be described as The Dumbest Poker Hand Ever Played On Earth. Remember that hand in Casino Royale when everyone has Full houses or Quads or Straight flushes? Well, this hand was the exact opposite - with every one betting like they had monsters but no one had a hand at all.

It starts, of course, with a $5 stradle. A Crazy Asian Dude (who had lost about $300 in the last 20 minutes) calls. (Oh, I should mention we're playing $1/$2 NLHE). Next to act is a guy whose stack is down to $60 - and he pushes that $60 in. The next player folds. I'm next to act. I've been dealt pocket 10's and I figure I'm quite likely ahead of the all-in. I know this sounds dubious, but I've been at this table for hours and I know that pocket tens is good against this guy's  range. But then the next guy calls the $60 bet, and so does the next guy. What the heck is going on? The guy in the small blind raises to $100...and the big blind calls! Then the stradle calls!! Then the Crazy Asian Dude Calls!!! The pot is now well over $600, with four guys betting $100 each ahead of me, and three more with $60 in and the option to call (or raise!) behind me. I know that somebody, probably more than one person, must have AA or KK. Nothing else makes sense. I also know I have to call - the pot odds are so great. So I put in another $40 and call. The three guys acting after me do the same.

So eight players have each payed $100 to see the following flop:  9d Qh 4s. Well damn, no set. With the crazy pre-flop action, I'm sure AA and/or KK is still out there, and now QQ AQ and even KQ are possible hands someone might pay to see the flop with. There is really no way my hand could be good. Or, so I think.

It checks to Crazy Asian Guy, who sticks in another $100. I fold. The next guy (who just sat down- this is first hand) calls and the remaining four guys fold. The pot is now exactly $1,000.

The turn is a 6c, making the board 9d Qh 4s 6c.

Both players check.

The river is a 3h, making the board. 9d Qh 4s 6c 3h.

Crazy Asian Guy thinks for about thirty seconds, then bets $100.

The New Guy calls with his last $100.

"Turn'em over," says the dealer. The New Guys flips over Ad 4d - he has a pair of fours!!!!!

The Crazy Asian Guy throws his hand in the muck.

Oh, and what about that guy who went all-in with $60 to started this whole crazy thing? He had KJ - so he lost too.

And some donkey with a pair of fours wins a $1,200 pot.