Meet the Table Nazi

There are lots of rules to playing poker live and each casino has their own rules. At some places you are not allowed to show another player your hole cards - even if you are mucking and the player is not in the hand. One casino might have a rule against wearing a hoodie (seriously!) - another might not allow you to come back to the same table you left without exactly the same amount of chips you left with until 45 minutes have elapsed.

I think it is up to the players to know the casino rules and it is up to the dealers and floor managers to enforce them. Some players, however, think it is their job to tell everyone else what to do. These are the table Nazi's and they come in all shapes and sizes.

On my last trip to the casino I met a table Nazi. This one decided to assume the human form of busty young woman in tight clothes and over sized sunglasses. She was over bearing, arrogant and told everybody how they should behave. I don't know if behavior like this is designed to put other people off their games. Maybe sometimes it is. In this particular case she seemed like a genuine asshole.


Also at the table was a young Asian guy who I had seen at the casino a lot. For some reason the Nazi seemed to be making the Asian kid her main target, needling him when ever he lost a big pot. The kid was sitting directly on her left, so maybe she was trying to goad him into making bad calls. After an hour of this, the kid moved to an open seat on the other side of the table. Fifteen minutes after that the seat on his right came open and the Nazi moved beside him! I could see the kid was very uncomfortable and kind of felt sorry for him, but I guess it is part of the game. What soon happened, however, was just plain bad manners.


The kid was on the big blind when it limped to him. The dealer must have thought he checked because he started to deal the flop when the kid said, "Wait! I want to raise!"


"Oh, sorry, I thought you checked." said the dealer, who had not yet dealt the flop.


"No, I was still thinking. I want to raise it $30."


"It too late!" screeched the Nazi, "You tapped the table! You checked!"


A big argument breaks out as to whether or not this is a legal bet. The dealer decides to let the kid's raise stand, which makes the Nazi fume. Everyone folds to her in the small blind, and she says "Screw you, asshole! I call."


As the dealer starts to deal the flop she says, "If I so much as hit a pair I'm pushing all in, you lousy bastard!"


The board looks harmless: 9h 6d 3c


"All in!" she snaps.


The kid looks miserable. She has bet about $200 into pot of about $70. After agonizing for a minute he calls and shows AK suited.

"Two pair!" yells the Nazi, showing her 3c 6c. "YEAH!" The turn and river bring no help to the kid, who cuts $200 out of his stack.

"The only thing better than doubling up with 3-6, is doing through an angle-shooter like you!" ,and then she actually gives him a little shove! If she were anything but some hot chick that poker nerds are afraid to talk to there would be no way she would get away with that kind of shit. If a dude said and did those things he would have been punched.

Asian guy was now on major tilt and lost the last of his chips to me a couple hands later when I flopped a set of aces. He made a very bad call to me - one he would never have made if the Nazi had not got under his skin.

If you ever find yourself getting mad at a player do not let it effect your game. Easier said than done, I know, but if you can't keep your desire for revenge in check then move to another table, or take a long break.